Skip to main content

"America's Next Top Model: All-Stars" recap: "Making Dollars Out of Scents"

Well we made it everybody! We're finally in the home stretch of this cycle and it couldn't have come soon enough. As we start tonight's show Lisa is upset about Bre leaving but also adds that Bianca doesn't have a bodyguard anymore.

Alexandria, looking the least fierce I've ever seen her, reminds us that the judges knocked her picture for looking like "a reality TV star" and I'm reminded what a joke that is considering the fact that they are on a reality TV show. They — Tyra included — need to get over themselves and probably shouldn't use that as a way to cut the contestants down, particularly considering who their guest judges have been so far.

Shannon says she thinks the judges want more raunch from her. I think she just needs to stop being boring.

Bianca is pissed that the house is full of cliques because now she doesn't have someone to back up all the whack crap that comes out of her mouth. Seriously, she seems to get into fights with people over pretty much anything. A couple weeks ago she had a problem with Shannon's phone lineup and this week she's having a problem with Alexandria getting in the shower before her. Where is that crazy bitch Susan Powter to stop the damn insanity?

I just remembered seeing Tyra tweeting about the models creating their own scents in tonight's episode. I hope some of them can come up with something strong enough to cover up the smell of desperation, venom and hair glue for their weaves.

TYRAmail comes and the girls start to get ready. In one room, they decide to critique each other and Bianca tells Kayla she's a really great model but has no personality that translates to everyone. The gloves are off, so Kayla tells Bianca that while she's memorable, she's also a bitch and bitches never win. Bianca doesn't get it and asks, "In whose world?" In the real world, honey. Come back down here.

Kayla fears that while she's an All-Star, she's just not sticking out enough. I can tell her with no hesitation, she should definitely be worrying about that because while "I'm a lesbian" is awesome and I appreciate her being out and proud, it's not the phrase that pays.

When the ladies arrive at the challenge destination, judge Nigel Barker greets them and tells them they'll be creating their own scents. Has anyone else noticed that Nigel has been showing up a lot more this cycle than any other? I wonder why that is.

The contestants are introduced to Ben Bennett, a fragrance guru or something, who is there to help them blend a fragrance using various scents displayed in front of them. The girls are super excited and ready to play the — say it with me now in barely a whisper — "Whiiiiite Diiiiamonds" fragrance-making game.

Lisa decides her scent is going to be fun and beachy to remind people of California. My mixture prediction: Sun tan lotion mixed with leftover citrus cocktail garnish.

Sweet Southern Laura wants to be sassy and sexy. My mixture prediction: Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce mixed with lavender and honey.

Dominique is a tough one since her brand is "Survivor." How does one really smell like a survivor without a little musk? My mixture prediction: Filet mignon, snow peas and cherry blossoms.

Shannon chose tiger lily and pear blossom, which Ben warns her: Both represent "pure." My prediction: Well we know the smells but it's going to be a snoozefest to the nose. She calls it "Smitten" and Lisa calls it, "Selling herself short."

Angelea names her fragrance "Angelea." I suppose that's about as real as it gets. I couldn't make out what they said was in it but I'd like to assume it was hot dog cart water, Courvoisier and glitter.

My girl Allison knows how to spice things up. She named her fragrance "Honey Blood." They didn't say what was in it but I'm certain there are some ashes of at least one or two Sookie Stackhouse novels in there somewhere.

Kayla goes next and says that while her brand is "Free" it is because she is now "free from her story" and has "grown from her story." Prediction: One part vanilla and two parts bottled tears from after her first Pride Parade. But wait, there's a secret ingredient brought in at the last minute! I didn't realize she grew up without a bed until she was a teenager. Prediction: Ginger is in there somewhere because a little bit packs a punch and brings a "whole lot of something from a whole lot of nothing." If I'm right about this, somebody please tell the ginger farmers of America that they've got a new ad copywriter right here.


View the original article here

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

<b>Reality TV</b> gets its own Comic-Con with Audrina Patridge, Nick <b>...</b>

Reality TV gets its own Comic-Con with Audrina Patridge, Nick Cannon and more | Show Tracker | Los Angeles Timesbody {background-color:#ffffff !important;}ul#root li.navLink a {padding-top:17px; padding-right:4px; padding-bottom:16px; padding-left: 5px;} Subscribe/Manage Account Place An Ad LAT Store Jobs Cars Real Estate Rentals More Classifieds Custom Publishing Entertainment HOME LOCAL L.A. Now Politics Crime Education O.C. Westside Neighborhoods Environment Obituaries Findlocal U.S. Politics Now Top of the Ticket Science & Environment Obituaries Religion WORLD Afghanistan & Pakistan Africa Asia Europe Iran Iraq Latin America Mexico Under Siege Middle East Business Money & Co. Technology Personal Finance Small Business Company Town Jobs Real Estate Autos SPORTS Lakers Clippers Dodgers Angels USC UCLA Kings Ducks Soccer High Schools Bleacher Report ENTERTA...

Kourtney Kardashian Announces New Clothing Line

« Kanye West Wears Kim Kardashian Nude Pic Over His Heart | Home | Kelly Clarkson And Brandon Blackstock Got Married This Weekend » October 21, 2013 02:07 PM by Stephanie Gustafson Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian are well known for starring in today’s hottest reality show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But the three sisters are intent on expanding their reach beyond the realm of entertainment. They’ve already made headway with the Kardashian Kollection and now, are continuing to take on the fashion world with a brand new clothing line. Kardashian fans across the nation love donning the creations of their idols, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian. The sisters have continually impressed with the recessionista outfits made possible through the popular Kardashian Kollection. Now, though, the trio have set their sites on high-end fashion, which is why they’re excited to announce the debut of a new collaboration with Lipsy. During a recent chat with Hello Magazine, Kourtney Kardashi...

Midwife Linda Abbott returns to Leeds General in tonight’s One Born Every Minute

Home > Factual > Midwife Linda Abbott returns to Leeds General in tonight’s One Born Every Minute January 30th, 2013 by Lisa McGarry. One Born Every Minute returns to Channel 4 tonight for the fifth episode of it’s current season and this evening’s instalment sees the return of a familiar face. Midwife Linda Abbott is back in Leeds General, after retiring only twelve months ago. The seasoned practitioner realised that she wasn’t ready to put the world of work and child bearing behind her and it was lucky she did, as the staff and patients at the hospital certainly missed her presence. She describes herself as an ‘old bird’ her years of experience are just whats needed, especially in two of tonight’s cases. The episode focuses on two fathers with very different bedside manners and approaches to their partners and expanding families. Joel could not be more attentive to his wife Rachel and is keen that it is just him and her alone when their baby is delivered.. Rachel and Joel’s...