ANTM once again returned us to the regular tumultuous programming that we’ve all grown accustomed to, instead of the nostalgic look at episodes past that was on last week. (Hooray.)
And this week, they even gave us an extra special treat: the day we’ve all been waiting for since the season began.
This week’s episode started with Dionne making a very astute observation about Brittany: Brittany’s a bullsh*tter. Like we already didn’t know that, but Dionne helps clear it up for the slow kids by explaining that Brittany knew her lines perfectly when she had to put on a performance with Efren, but turned on the water works and made excuses when it was time to make a Cover Girl commercial.
We think Brittany just has selective short term memory loss — she selects when she wants sympathy from it.
It’s the time we all saw coming and we were waiting patiently for — the ANTM folks decided to set the girls loose on unsuspecting Australian agencies for some go-sees. The girls taught us a lot, too, like how to get a free bikini, how to embarrass ourselves in front of designers and judges, and that some models obviously never learn.
Dionne never ceases to amaze us with her grace, beauty, lovely personality and her audacity. Seeing her opportunity — because, let’s face it, those ladies had way too many bikinis to begin with — she decided she would ask to keep one of the bikinis. Of course, we can’t be mad at her because she did end up with a free bikini out of the deal. Nice.
Brittany attempted to walk, but the only thing that came to mind was a developmentally disabled pony; it appeared that she was likely to fall down at any given moment. The only thing worse than her walk was her ability to hold a conversation. Small talk isn’t her forte and it showed and it was painful to watch.
Brittany later decided that she would go see one more designer because she hoped it would look well to the judges. It begs the question: has she learned nothing from previous episodes of America’s Next Top Model? If there’s anything that’s drilled into those models on go see day, it’s that you need to get back on time.
What made Brittany’s late return even more egregious was how she handled it — loudly, in tears, and with expletives. And, of course, it wasn’t her fault — it never is. She did, after all, tell the taxi driver he was to meet her at the next designer’s shop…or did she?
The camera’s don’t often lie, and the cameras revealed that she didn’t tell the taxi driver anything except that she was going over to the next street…nothing about asking him to follow her. I guess this is more of her selective short term memory coming out again. Our conclusion is that Brittany needs therapy and a lot of drugs.
We were a little disappointed to hear that Jaslene won, because we were really backing Dionne. Luckily, we weren’t disappointed long because Jaslene chose Dionne to share the spoils. The spoils being a photo shoot with Nigel atop the Sydney Harbor Bridge.
Finally, we get to see something other than the fairer sex and we’re sure the girls were feeling the same way, too. This week’s photo shoot was all about making the women envious and driving the men wild.
Set on a beach at the butt crack of dawn, the models were to dress in bikinis and pose with sexy men for two types of shoots: women’s catalog and men’s magazine. Tyra would be in charge of taking the first set of photos and then the torch would be passed to Michael Omm, men’s magazine photographer.
Natasha looked positively sweet and succulent with the soft makeup. She did a great job, but our only criticism (and it appears, the judges’ too) is that she needs to control her fish-lip syndrome.
Though Jaslene had a tendency to very drag-queenish, this week, she looked very demure. However, as she was posing for her swimsuit photos, we began wondering if they were going to airbrush the stubble from her underarms…sure enough, they did. That aside, her photos this week, even we have to admit, were stunning.
Dionne’s performance this week was less than stellar, but her boy toy is hot. Maybe he should be a contestant on America’s Next Top Model. Getting back on track, Dionne couldn’t catch a break. Every which way she molded her face, it looked like her inner dominatrix was struggling to break free…and it was frightening. She has the perfect face for sultry persuasion, but it seems she hasn’t learned how to use it yet.
Renee blew everyone, including the judges, away with her ability to charm the ladies and seduce the men with her photos. She had a firm grasp on what sexy is to a woman as opposed to what sexy is to a man and it showed. We can honestly say that we’re proud of Renee this week.
Brittany discovered her inner vixen by dragging out her sultry side and ditching the sweet innocent girl who cries at the drop of a hat. Don’t get us wrong, she still knows how to cry at the drop of a hat, it’s just disguised well in her swimsuit photo. It’s too bad her male counterpart stole the show in her shot taken by Tyra.
You know how this always has to go: one girl goes home; and there was no exception this week. We made the prediction that it would be Dionne, after taking those lack luster photos this week, and Brittany called out onto the chopping block, and we were right on the money.
Tyra handed them her speech. Dionne requires too much coaching to take a significantly great photo, but has this amazing personality. Brittany is, well, Brittany. Needy, attention hog, annoying, and pissy, but she does take lovely photos. What a dilemma.
Thankfully, Tyra and the judges sided with the rest of the world on this one and sent Brittany packing. We weren’t sure if we could sit through another week of Brittany’s antics without throwing a shoe at the television set.
[tags]americas next top model, antm episode recap, tyra banks[/tags]
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